play area

i want my kids play area
to be like this

bless his kids

my heart is crying

nobody will know michael the way his family does, specially his kids.

our home

this truly is a product of hardwork. our home.

my bestfriend and I

we have been friends since 2nd/3rd year high school. we were part of these crazy group called fatal zyndicate (hahaha i know! we call ourselves that! LMAO!). big group - different types of personality, iba iabg trip. but for us girls - we were always the goodie-goodie girls. the boys is a different story. let me just say that they passed 'a stage' in their adolescent phase. but one thing we are proud of is that they never, never get us (girls) involved. we were clueless up until we were gone to college. it made us proud because we know the boys cared for us and they value us. they kept us pure! hahaha

so in college, bhebhe and i went to a different school. and i of course was busy with ren. lol. we would meet up on birthdays, weddings, etc. of course there was the eraserheads concert where she got crazy -ran after the band's van!

after college, kanya kanyang work. i was working at Makati, while she at laguna. ganun pa din, meet up during special occassions lang. sometimes we would go out as a group, but very seldom lang.

and then life became much serious. i got married, had Martin, shifted career. she had a major family issue. in short, we grew up.

she was there when ren and i had a major break up in 2002. she and tweet were my shoulders to cry on. i was a wreck, they both came as fast as they could to be with me. she's one of the first person to know that i was pregnant with martin. she was there at our civil wedding, when i gave birth to martin -she's one of the first person to see him, of course she's martin's ninang. she's part of our wedding entourage. in short, she has always been there.

i'd like to think i was always there for her. i will always be there for her. i've met all her exs, i've been with her through several break ups, i was there to listen whenever she needs to vent her frustrations and heartbreak over family issues.

strange as it may seem, but always, always, whenever one of us is going through something, one would always send a text message, a phone call or an IM or facebook - "hi how are you?" out of nowhere. it is as if we unconsiously feel if someone is in pain, sad, happy, etc. it's like we have an invisible connection.

i am lucky to her as my best friend. we can always talk about everything under the sun (of favorite topic of course is showbizzzz). family, love, money, hearthaches, you name it.

like i do with my sister, i miss her all the time.

so am i lucky to have her as my bestfriend or what?

me and the world

i have installed a free software called Digsby. i have done so because yesterday, as i was doing my daily visit to my bookmarked sites, naisip ko, ang dami! facebook, twitter, gmail, yahoo mail, celebrity sites.

so far, digsby has been a great help. i can preview my gmails - yes, kahit ilang email accounts on yahoo, gmail, msn, etc. i get real-time updates from twitter and facebook.

i am following a lot of celebrities on twitter. hehehe. it's interesting to know what's their everyday life looks like.

and on facebook, of course there's a lot going on in there. photos, short kwentos via status, mafia wars and farm churva (which, i am thinking of trying, fine).

today, when i logged in to digsby, i thought to myself, i don't update much on twitter or facebook, basically, nanguusisa lang ako - one way info. so what is in the mind of these active facebook/twitter updater?

why do we publish ourselves over the internet? to most, its because we want to stay connected. oh well, yes, i want to stay connected - i want to know what's going on with my family and friends' life. but i think my life is just too boring and very ordinary to publish :) apart from this private blog, i don't say as much :)

thoughts?

Imelda + Bvlgari

i saw this one late night over at CNN.

CHO: It is that rich history that Bulgari is hoping will help them through this recession. Like most luxury companies, Bulgari is hurting, too. Laying off workers, shutting stores and the CEO is even taking a 75 percent pay cut. But that same CEO tells me it's one thing to be hip and trendy in a span of 20 years, but it's hard to compete with a company that's been around for a century.

And guys, a luxury company really relies on its image more than anything else, and more than any other sector. And they're really hoping that rich family history, the family roots, will help sell jewels.

ROBERTS: Yes, great story about Elizabeth Taylor. But did he dish about any of the other famous folks who have worn his jewelry.

CHO: It's interesting. He said he doesn't like to kiss and tell, but one thing he did tell --

ROBERTS: But he did.

CHO: But he did. One thing he did tell was that Imelda Marcos, the woman who was famous for her shoe collection, loved jewelry. She loved Bulgari jewelry.

In fact, when she came to New York, she would often call Mr. Bulgari in the middle of the night, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning and say come to my hotel, bring the jewelry. And, of course, they obliged.

The Marcoses must have been living the life to the fullest during their time.

Kaloka!

addict

care ko kay hayden at ang mga sex videos nya. ok, ok, there was one day i was interested...pero ka cheap-an e...so wag na. and i watched all the videos! lalong nakakawalang gana. all the people involved are grown-ups, pero mas masarap pang panoorin ang debate ni Mika and Martin about Spiderman.

care ko din (muna) sa GM filing for bankruptcy.

care ko din (muna) sa walang tigil na ulan.

care ko din (muna) sa one million items on my to do list.

i just can't concentrate on anything else!

i am an addict!


high school all over. gash. i finished all last 3 books of the Twilight series in a week. I am now reading the unfinished, unpublished Midnight Sun - which is Twilight - but Edward is narrating.

I can't wait for the New Moon movie!!!

jealous

(i am listening to Nina's Jealous song... my iTunes' on shuffle mode..wala akong maisip na title ng entry na to :))

if there's one thing that scres the hell out of me, it's failing as a mother. doing things that will make my kids hate me. say and do bad stuff that will stuck in to the minds for the rest of their lives.

you see, my world revolves around my kids. they are my morning, noon, night. they are the reason i am alive and kicking...they are the reason i am loving my life. when i made the choice to be a mother, i promised myself to give my everything to my kids.

since i had Martin, i made the decision to put my career into a 'slow motion' because i didn't want to miss my kids' growing up years. i have very very little memory of my childhood (if none)...i want to see my kids grow up. i can make their childhood mine too (sounds weird i know). i want to have fun with them, learn with them. i want to witness every milestones. i want to be there for them.

Martin asks a hell lot of questions now. Rina on the other hand is on top of her game. She eats like a there's no tomorrow. She's very eager to try things on her own (which often times result to her being hurt). There's just so much going on with my kids. I always fail to notice how time goes by when i am with them. so much action.

and i am loving it.

Hello Blog!

i missed you!

trying times.

i am scared. i am worried. i think of my kids future. i think about my career. i think about my sister who is in the states where the economic crisis seems to be affecting everybody's job. i am afraid for my brothers and for their family.

i am worried about my friends and relatives who work abroad, where they say that they are not the primary concern of the local employers.

the other day, while i was waiting for a taxi (to take me to the bundok), a stranger carrying a small child came to the people in the line asking for alms. i know it's super impossible to happen and i am over acting, but i had a wild imagination that that could be me carrying Rina. i swear kung hindi lang madaming tao, ngumawa na ako.

5% is big deal in this trying times. it could pay off about half of our electricity bill, salary ng yaya or ulam for 2 weeks. these days, every peso counts. heck kahit nga yung mga 5 centavos tinatago ko na.

they said, this is just the beggining. i read somewhere that this could last for atleast 2 years.

i am worried for my kids, more than anything else. i wish i have super power to shelter them from any effect of this crisis.

loving my kids

i'm in love. with my kids. and both are equally in love with me.

Rina will cry immediately (i swear!) when she sees me. she's been very possessive. would only stop crying if i carry her. will go to sleep if only mama watch her.

Kuya on the other hand, is with Daddy through out the day (you know, they fix the car, they walk to plaza, they buy all kind of pets, etc), but if it's sleeping time, he needs to be beside me. no daddy. :P

someday, when they get to read this, i want them to know how they complete me. just thinking about their smiles, their laughter, satisfy me. if i am lonely, or if something/someone is bringing me down, i just look into their face, their eyes...and i instantly remember who and what are important to me.

i have called them plenty of names. si kuya - bhebe, babe, sweetheart, bebeb, piglet, bhe, kuya. si rina - i call her potpot a lot recently, bru, bhebe, bebeb, honey.

i can stay at home all day with them doing nothing. i know i have so many things to do to give them the best life possible and i am ready to do it. whatever it takes. just for my kids.

family picture

i've been obsessing with having lots and lots of our family photo! here's the latest taken during HP kids photo shoot.

miryenda

i have two favorite pinoy miryenda: ginataang mais and binatog!

(photo grabbed from google search)

every now and then, i ask ren to buy me binatog in the market as the city hall is next to the country market i always ask him to pass by the palengke and find me a binatog. pero laging wala. today, in the office, may naglalako daw.

ang sarap! (*comfort food since i am depress for my bestfriend*)bukas naman ginataang mais ha dad? thanks!!!

my bestfriend's broken heart

Bhebe arrived at 6:30PM yesterday, i dressed up really quickly then i told her we are going for a walk.

her boyfriend of 1.7 years broke up with her *huhuhuhu* it's a really complicated break up. they love each other but just can't stay together. for now.

i just want to be with her through this very tough time. i don't pretent to know eveything about relationships because i don't. i held her hands, hug her and pat her on the back...she poured all that she was feeling and thinking. i listened, i cried with her.

i am not sure what will happen next. basta gusto ko lang, is for her to be happy. i let her decide for herself because only she knows what is best for herself now.

love you bhe. kaya mo yan. i will always be here for you.

2009

one liner from a co-worker's email signature:

"if you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

let me do this by month (a work in progress):

January. Uncle rely, Office Photo shoot, Anne, Joel, Martin's school field trip

February. Dad's birthday, Uncle Cesar,

March. Beach! Ate Shiela,

April. My 32rd birthday.

May. BIG! HUGE! Ate, Mom, Kuya Jay and Ate Cel's birthday.

June. Ren's 32nd birthday

July. Rina Angela's 1st birthday. Kuya's 5th birthday.

August.

September.

October.

November.

December. Christmas.

tired and tired

this has been a long day. Uncle Rely, mommy's older brother from Canada arrived at 8AM. He is a handicapped after a stroke 2-3 years ago. I was so happy to seehim. I always remember him as my very calm Uncle (the other one is coming next month too...that one naman is the sutil uncle...but i love him too!). He's been living in Canada since the early 70's but 'go home' to the pinas every now and then. Too bad his speech was affected by the stroke, thus communicating with him is very 'challenging'. He can only say 'yes', 'no', 'sino ano', and count 1-10. So when he counts 1, 2, 3, 4 = he could mean my mom (being the 4th child among their sibs), or it could be brother, or my brother's kids, etc. hulaan to the max. hands down to my mom who seems to be an expert on uncle Rely's 'language.'

anyway, i can't wait to show him around. kanina, they went to their old house (which is now an apartment complex - still owned by the family), their old school, and the plaza. tomorrow, martin's big kuyas are coming over to spend time with him.

i hate that i set up a training today (i wanted to spend time with uncle). but no choice. i had to give this training to get help from my teammates on the efax tickets. i need to focus more on the upgrade. so imagine me talking non-stop for 4 hours. it was a good training kasi 2 new employee students ko. so mababait pa at talagang eager to learn.

ren offered to drive me to office since he also had makati errands and i wanted to go home right after the training. pero syempre, after the training, hindi din kami umuwi agad. chance namin mag-date! hahaha. so had dinner and just walked around boni high and talked about...what else, but the kids :) our walk was slow, the winding blowing softly on our faces, it was really nice. kuya always enjoy boni high for it's spacious, bermuda-ed grounds. i want to take rina there when she starts walking and if the weather is not this cold anymore.

so i was knocked out on the way home. i am hating my sleeping habit. i always stay up late, some times i work, other times i just watch tv, browse the net or just do nothing. last night i watched chainsaw massacre on HBO (such a lame moving starring the very young renee zalweger and very young matthew mcconaughey).

oh on our way to our car, we saw Mama Liza getting off her car. hahaha! ginulat ko sya at i wish i had my camera with me to capture her facial reaction! hahaha! she was on her way to a dinner with her high school friends.

when we got home, bru was already asleep, while kuya was at lola's room eating Pringles (my mom is martin's daily pringles supplier). Uncle was already on bed, but still awake. we spent a good long time looking at their high school's year book. i was fascinated at home teenagers look in the 50's, 60's and 70's. super aliw! i am amazed too at home many people my mom and uncle can recognize. hello black and white photos!

i will try to be good to my body tonight. after i write this post, i will go to bed and try to sleep. i am the weekend DM tomorrow, AND an upgrade that will start at 1AM, Sunday. i hope this project finishes soon! i want my weekends back!

goodnight beautiful people who read my blog. love you all!

books

been meaning to drop by the bookstore to get me a good book i can read in times like this (not sleepy, everybody's asleep, read all my RSS feeds, does not want to work). but for some reasons, i never did. when i am out of the house, i am either on my way to the hill (read: office), i'm in the 'hill', drop off/pick up kuya to/from school, do the grocery, basically, all the time i go out, i have an agenda. and i am always rushing home to be with the kids.

and when i say bookstore, i mean a store that sells variety of books, not office supplies (read: National Bookstore hehehe, although i don't mind looking at all those supplies, i'm a sucker for little-useless things for my home office). i want to have the luxury of time to visit powerbooks and/or fully booked. i wanted to read atleast one book a month. i will try to get rid of the magazines (except YES! hahaha).

So, i am on amazon now, checking out The New York Times 10 Best Book of 2008. I will probably the first on the list, A Mercy, by Toni Morrison. I have not read any of her books though. I am fan of John Grisman, Patterson and the like. I like action, sometimes lovestories bore when i read them, i'd rather watch them. Only one cheesy novel i like is the Like Water for Chocolate. if you have seen that Keanu Reeves movie in the vineyard (darn! i forgot the title, do you remember?), this book is pretty much like that story.

parents

do you think all parents feel the same way towards their own kid/s? this is a line i've been meaning to tell my kids whenever i look into their eyes.

"When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. - Barack Obama.

thoughts

• reading the blogs i religiously follow, almost all have listed their wish list for the new year. as much as i want to make a list of the things i want (material things) this year, i'd rather not. by doing so, i will stay focus on the things that the kids 'need'



• yes, not obligatory, but maternal instinct, kids first all.the.time. i am not complaining or bitter about it. it's just the way i feel. i'm happy when i get to buy stuff the kids needs, and yes even 'wants'



• i am so behind uploading pictures. see uploading our everyday-whatever pictures is also a way for me to back-up all our memories.



• and i have to do that very soon, i have this feeling that this laptop will give up anytime soon. darn, i need a new one.



• i am missing michael sooo much. michael scoefield. i hope i get copies of the latest episode of prison break on friday. btw, i heard they are ending the show after the current season. i think after they have 'killed' Sara, the interest of their loyal fans were killed too



• it's cold! yes, it's been very cold lately here in the land of the pinoy. can you believe that for 3 nights now, not only we did not turn on the aircon during the kids night sleepy time - this is the time when kuya is really, really active, and the little girl is all fussy - we set the mood, give kuya a bath, clean up the bru, turn off the lights, turn-on the aircon, turn of the TV, read to them, hum to the baby, dance her, etc. ok, going back to the weather story, for the last 3 nights, no aircon! and no electric fan even! the windows are all closed because it is super windy outside! i've only had this weather when i was in hong kong on a december and at the sea world in san diego. i am loving it! i've never experience this kind of weather in the philippines, not in tagaytay in December. good thing the kids are not getting sick - i hope they don't. They say it will be like this until February. So friends visiting Manila soon, remember to bring your sweaters. :)



• i want this kitchen!



• and this bedroom!